With the dust settling and smoke (literally) clearing on yet another installment in the legacy and legend of San Diego Comic-Con, I find the readily expected (and braced-for) observations and commentary that hardly ever change year-in and year out to be a pretty solid yardstick on SDCC. All that to say: a lot of complaining, venting, a few personal achievements, and no small degree of over-developed drama that seems easily avoidable if everyone managed to remember one thing: PERSPECTIVE!

Sure, it’s the biggest annual such event in North America (news to those who didn’t know: it’s not the biggest in the world; in fact, coming in at number 3 at last check), but is that REALLY a reason for attendees (which is to say mostly geeks, fanboys, and collectible-seekers) to behave as if they are storming the Bastille, invading Normandy, crossing the Delaware, and setting down on the moon, all at once? I think a lot of attendees would admit, despite their behavior to the contrary, the answer is no.

While it’s fair to say that the explosion in popularity in the last 4 or 5 years has contributed to a general frenzy, the damn near endless articles going on and on about HOW SHALL YE’ PREPARE FOR THY COMIC-CON (and all variants thereof), as if an attendee is about to take part in their own personal version of 300‘s Battle Before the Hot Gates, does not help anyone. Yes, there is some truth in what is put out there (insoles, proper behavior and so forth), but to present the information in such hyperbolic BRACE YOURSELF FOR YOU CANNOT IMAGINE WHAT IT’S LIKE AND THERE’S NO HOPE FOR YOU AND GREATER HUMANITY WITHOUT THIS INFORMATION approach is itself a major contributing factor to the problem.

Admittedly, there’s no doubt SOMETHING must be done to try to teach attendees the increasingly absent basic common sense, decency and respect everyone is entitled to, especially costumers (and in particular women, who, just for those wondering, are NOT THERE TO BE PAWED AT OR ASSAULTED OR DENIGRATED by you regardless of how they are or are not dressed to your liking). It’s incredibly cliché and trite, but very sincerely to all convention attendees near and far, either go for the right reasons, or don’t go, and if you just really cannot be respectful and say only nice things, then on behalf of everyone else having a good time, please: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

There’s no way to fully eliminate the jerks, wanna-be jerks, and professional jerk-offs (!) that attend SDCC (or any major event regardless of what interests anyone has), but if the regular attendees simply better policed themselves and didn’t over-build things, it would go a very long way to both keeping things civil (and fun), and help reveal who the real instigators of trouble are. Sad thing is, so much of the trouble and wrong mind-set is internal, with costumers and panel-goers turning everything into a competition and an opportunity to show-up one another. What is that all about? So you got a connection and got a pic! Wonderful! Are they coming over for beers and pizza? Then what’s with the whole victory dance and shit-eating grin? Did you get to a panel THAT NO ONE ELSE WENT TO OR IS COVERING? No? Then probably you heard what someone else will be reporting — and if it’s THAT big, this “most awesome of awesome news you had to be there” will assuredly find its way to the Internet FAST by any number of reporters and fans, where your buddy who didn’t make it (and was probably enjoying something else, or a nice cup of coffee or even SLEEPING) will ultimately see it. So, unless you’re really into trying to one-up your friends (-?!) and get some satisfaction in trying (but failing) to make said friends (again, you’re doing this to someone you claim as a friend) jealous or resentful or feel bad, might be time for a little internal reflection as to what it is that you’re doing.

Incidentally, vendors, I’m also looking at you: if you have a limited number of product that’s cool. But don’t dangle it out over an overstimulated and sleep-deprived crowd like piranha at feeding time. And floor re-sellers? How about controlling thy avarice to the eBay? To flip a product that you picked up earlier that day (credit to you or your teenaged agent who stood in line from 2am…) for $60 for prices anywhere from double (reasonably understandable) to FIVE TIMES that, you’re just blatantly giving everyone the finger. Sure, I know you’ll say the market will support that and — the always classic — you’re not forcing anyone (which is to say someone will be that desperate and you’ll close in on the kill), but how about just not doing it so boldly. Eventually, you’re going to shaft over a revenue agent or some such person, and since you’re always offering to “take a little off” if it’s cash, you’d stand to protect yourself and everyone else by controlling that mercenary impulse.

All that being said, while it may seem I have little hope for the attendees and their behavior, there is still fun and some amazing things to see and (sometimes) collect, and you might, if you’re good for goodness’ sake, have a pleasant, relaxing four days and actually make a genuine friend or two (hundred).

It’s not hard to have a good time. Just remember you’re there to do that, be respectful, don’t use, burn, insult, or otherwise fuck-off your friends, and above all, never miss an opportunity to shut up and be considerate of others!